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Dear Ones:

“How do I engage in constructive dialogue with people who think, feel, believe and act radically differently than I do?” Do you recognize this question? Does it resonate? I ask because I hear it frequently. I hear it from members and friends of UUSE. I hear it from family members. I hear it from colleagues. I hear it from neighbors. People often come to me with some form of this question, hoping that as a pastor I might have some insight to impart. It’s a particularly poignant question these days. As I write these words in late September, the nation is reeling from recent political violence, and witnessing a marked uptick in violent rhetoric towards vulnerable communities. Somehow, we have to be able to talk to each other across all that divides us.

Confession: I don’t have a lot of experience bridging divides with people who think, feel, believe and act radically differently from me. I understand very clearly that the people who participate in our congregation more or less agree when it comes to politics, society and culture. This is true of my family and friends as well—more or less. This is true of the people I engage with in the wider community and my larger community of UU ministerial colleagues. This is certainly true of my social media community. I live in a bubble. I don’t have significant interaction with people who think, feel, believe and act radically differently from me.

With that caveat, I have a few thoughts.

First, I am convinced that the vast majority of human beings want the same basic things in life: clean water, healthy food, reliable shelter, affordable health care, decent education, meaningful work, a living wage, freedom, safety, dignity, self-expression, acceptance, belonging, etc. When I encounter polarization, when I encounter vast differences of opinion, when I encounter anger and vague (and not-so-vague) threats of violence, I take a breath and remind myself that somewhere deep inside, the people who seem so far from me in their views, actually want the same things I want for myself and those whom I love.

Second, I recently read Liberated to the Bone by the writer, healer and cultural worker, Susan Raffo. I was struck by her chapter on the similarities between love and hate—how they can feel very much the same. I plan to say more about this in my October 19th sermon. For now, let me propose that our bodies (and our collective body) may be confused about what it means to hate and what it means to love. Moving beyond this confusion may aid our attempts at dialogue in the midst of polarization. Maybe.

Finally, our October ministry theme is cultivating compassion. I am not sure what it will take to enter into constructive dialogue with people who think, feel, believe and act radically differently than we do, but I am sure that such dialogue is impossible without cultivating compassion. Somehow, we human beings have to find it in ourselves to feel compassion for those who sit across the political, religious and cultural divides from us, even if those who sit across from us don’t seem interested in treating us with the same compassion. I know that for some this is, for good reason—for reasons of safety—a non-starter. I know to some I must sound amazingly naïve. Well, so be it. If there is to be constructive dialogue, it begins with compassion.

Amen. Blessed be.
Rev. Josh
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