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Gathering Music Welcome and Announcements Centering Prelude Chalice Lighting & Opening Words "Chalice Lighting Words" by Albert Schweitzer At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. In the glow of that gratitude, let our worship begin. Opening Hymn STJ #1008 "When Our Heart Is in a Holy Place" When our heart is in a holy place, When our heart is in a holy place, We are bless'd with love and amazing grace, When our heart is in a holy place. When we trust the wisdom in each of us, Ev'ry color ev'ry creed and kind, And we see our faces in each other's eyes, Then our heart is in a holy place. Chorus When we tell our story from deep inside, And we listen with a loving mind, And we hear our voices in each other's words, Then our heart is in a holy place. Chorus When we share the silence of sacred space, And the God of our Heart stirs within, And we feel the power of each other's faith, Then our heart is in a holy place. Time for All Ages The Next Place Written and illustrated by Warren Hanson Ready by Sam Taylor Musical Interlude Joys and Concerns Musical Interlude Offering The recipient of our November Community Outreach offering is Manchester Senior, Adult and Family Services, which provides social work and conservator services to any Manchester resident over age 18. Social work services can include providing information, guidance, assistance completing applications, advocacy, referrals, and outreach/wellness checks. Services are provided in-person (office, home, community), by phone, email or Zoom. Offering Music Reading "Otherwise" by Jane Kenyon" I got out of bed on two strong legs. It might have been otherwise. I ate cereal, sweet milk, ripe, flawless peach. It might have been otherwise. I took the dog uphill to the birch wood. All morning I did the work I love. At noon I lay down with my mate. It might have been otherwise. We ate dinner together at a table with silver candlesticks. It might have been otherwise. I slept in a bed in a room with paintings on the walls, and planned another day just like this day. But one day, I know, it will be otherwise. Introduction to the Service and Speakers Musical Interlude Reflections by Nancy Madar, a Hospice Volunteer Musical Interlude Reflections by Peter Marotto: "Lost Recipes: What We Lose and What We Gain When Caring for a Loved One in Their Final Days" Closing Hymn STJ #1002 "Comfort Me" Comfort me, comfort me comfort me, oh my soul. Comfort me, comfort me, comfort me, oh my soul. Sing with me, sing with me ... Speak for me, speak for me ... Dance with me, dance with me ... Closing Words Wiccan Burial Prayer This is a place which is not a place in a time which is not a time halfway between the worlds of the Gods and of mortals. As the sun sets So our friend has left us The water of our tears like the salt water of the sea, and like the water of our mothers' womb, blesses this Circle. As life is a day So our friend has passed into the night The fire of our life, the memories and courage, the strength given to us by our friend blesses this Circle. As all that falls shall rise again So our friend will be reborn The air we breathe, this treasure of our life, the compassionate caring we give each other blesses this Circle. As the Earth forms us So our friend shall return to the earth Our Mother feeds us, and clothes us. She gives us everything and in the end she takes our bodies back. And earth blesses this Circle. We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain falling to the ocean We all come from the Horned One and through Him we are reborn corn and grain, corn and grain all that falls shall rise again. Extinguishing the Chalice Closing Circle May faith in the spirit of life And hope for the community of earth And love of the light in each other Be ours now, and in all the days to come.

Our November ministry theme is nurturing gratitude , which aligns very obviously with the Thanksgiving holiday later this month; though for me, it’s not the holiday that gives us the theme. For me it’s all the features of autumn—changing, falling leaves, dropping temperatures, decreasing daylight hours, increasing darkness—and perhaps most importantly, the conclusion of the growing season in these northern latitudes—the harvest, the reaping, the preparations for winter—all of it ancient, all of it familiar to human beings for millennia. All of it gives rise to feelings of gratitude, if we let it. All of it gives rise to our collective instinct to acknowledge and celebrate the blessings of our lives, to give thanks.             Over the years I’ve come back again and again to a meditation entitled “Thanksgiving” by my colleague, the Rev. Lynn Ungar, originally published in 1996 in her Skinner House book entitled Blessing the Bread . I shared it in my newsletter column this month. I love how, for her, seasonal changes in the land speak to gratitude deeply ingrained in our hearts: I have been trying to read / the script cut in these hills— / a language carved in the shimmer of stubble / and the solid lines of soil, spoken / in the thud of apples falling and the rasp of corn stalks finally bare. / The pheasants shout it with a rusty creak / as they gather in the fallen grain, / the blackbirds sing it / over their shoulders in parting, / and gold leaf illuminates the manuscript / where it is written in the trees. / Transcribed onto my human tongue / I believe it might sound like a lullaby, / or the simplest grace at table. / Across the gathering stillness / simply this: “For all that we have received, / dear God, make us truly grateful.”             In the end, the patterns of this autumn season give rise to a very simply prayer: May I be grateful. ****             I assume that feeling gratitude is good for us. I assume the practice of rituals that center our gratitude is good for us. I assume expressing our gratitude out loud to others is good for us psychologically, emotionally, physically, spiritually. There’s solid data to support these assumptions, including a landmark 2003 study entitled “Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life,” published in the  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . [1] The authors are Robert A Emmons at the University of California Davis (also editor in chief at the Journal of Positive Psychology) and Michael E McCullough at the University of California San Diego. The study’s abstract explains how participants in three separate studies were randomly assigned to various experimental conditions and asked to keep records of their moods, coping behaviors, health behaviors, physical symptoms, and overall life appraisals. Participants in what they called the “gratitude-outlook” groups exhibited heightened well-being across several, though not all, of the outcome measures relative to the comparison groups. “The effect on positive affect appeared to be the most robust finding. Results suggest that a conscious focus on blessings may have emotional and interpersonal benefits.” [2]             I found a 2023 New York Times article entitled “Gratitude Really is Good for You: Here’s What the Science Shows,” by the journalist Christina Caron. She mentions the Emmons-McCullough study and sums up the results of numerous other studies over the past two decades. She finds substantial evidence that gratitude practices have a positive impact on mental health, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, increasing self-esteem and improving satisfaction with daily life. Gratitude is also known to improve sleep and lower blood pressure. “Multiple studies have shown,” she writes, quoting Sara Algoe, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, “that expressing gratitude to acquaintances, co-workers, friends or romantic partners can offer a relationship ‘ boost ’ and ‘helps bind us more closely.’” [3]               If you’re skeptical or weary of all the talk about gratitude in this season or at any time of year, I’m simply pointing out that scientists have run peer-reviewed experiments on the ways gratitude practices impact our lives; these studies have been repeated and expanded upon over the years; and there is solid data to support the claim that gratitude is good for us.             And yes, in addition to the science, there is a lot of talk about gratitude and, at least for some, it is wearying. I used to get annoyed at how ubiquitous the admonition to be grateful is in our wider culture. Of the tens of millions of self-help and personal wellness books on brick-and-mortar and virtual shelves, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of them either have the words “gratitude,” “thankfulness,” or “blessings” in the title or subtitle or, minimally, feature a chapter about gratitude, thankfulness or blessings. I notice Dr. Emmons has published many books in this genre: The Little Book of Gratitude: Create a Life of Happiness and Well-Being by Giving Thanks , Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier , Gratitude Works , and Words of Gratitude for Mind, Body and Soul , with an introduction by the Benedictine monk, Br. David Steindl-Rast, who has a wonderful website, “Grateful Living,” [4]  and an excellent Ted Talk, “Want to be Happy? Be Grateful,” which has been viewed over 10 million times. [5]  Which reminds me that in addition to all the books, the virtual and online worlds are overflowing with articles, blogs, podcasts, day-time talk shows, Pinterest Boards and Ted Talks. Some of it is really good. Some of it less so. Some of it comes from multi-millionaire pop psychologists and pseudo-spiritual gurus just trying to cash in. I used to roll my eyes, smugly—not only because so much of this content—like so much of the self-help genre in general—seems so corny—platitudes with no real substance—but also because it always made me feel, as an ordained clergy-person, that anytime I wanted to talk about gratitude, I couldn’t do it without sounding like a self-help book. Nurturing gratitude is one of the purposes of religion. Nurturing gratitude requires deep spiritual engagement. Get out of our lane you self-help hucksters! Leave gratitude to the clergy and the psychologists!             I don’t roll my eyes anymore. I’m no longer annoyed. The prayer is really very simple: May I be grateful. If any message ought to be ubiquitous, the message that there are benefits to nurturing gratitude in ourselves and our communities is certainly one of them regardless of where it comes from. How better to counter in our own lives the many negative health and wellness impacts of the daily authoritarian onslaught emanating from our nation’s capitol? How better to fortify ourselves, to build up our resilience, to stay calm and focused, to stay hopeful? It really doesn’t matter where the message comes from, as long as we learn to say our version of the prayer: May I be grateful. ****             Last weekend a number of you forwarded me a link to a piece published in “The Morning” newsletter of the New York Times  titled “Personal History,” subtitled “The good things in our lives are the result of fantastic webs of interconnected prerequisites.” [6]  The author, Melissa Kirsch, who writes “The Morning” newsletter and describes her beat as “broadly about how to live a meaningful life,” is also a bit skeptical and weary of all the talk of gratitude. She’s sharing her gratitude practice, but she says “I get a little uncomfortable talking about it because I’ve seen the same hashtags and semi-smug social media posts that you have, the same living-room art with cursive script on distressed wood about the ‘attitude of gratitude.’ The concept has been so commodified, overprocessed, merched-up, that it seems as if there’s little else to say about it — call it the platitude of gratitude.” So, she rolls her eyes too! But I really like her practice and I want to commend it to you.             She describes her practice as more ornate than the typical gratitude journal or jar. She says “I will think of something small — say, this weird little deck of “wisdom cards” that I draw from each morning as a sort of daily fortune cookie. Then I think about how my friend Melanie gave me the deck and how generous and playful she is, and how lucky I am to know her. But I wouldn’t know her if I hadn’t taught creative writing with her in a summer program in the 1990s. I wouldn’t have had that job if my friend Alden hadn’t recommended me for it, and I wouldn’t know Alden if I hadn’t gone to graduate school with her, and I wouldn’t have gone to graduate school without the encouragement of my undergraduate writing professor, and I wouldn’t have taken her class if not for … you get the picture." She continues: "It’s almost a game, tracing the present-day gratitude back through all the causes and conditions that gave rise to it. It’s also immensely satisfying, and mystifying — look how many things had to transpire in order to bring this deck of cards into my life. Simple gratitude is focused on a one-to-one relationship: These cards make me happy. Thinking through this circuit of prerequisites amplifies the gratitude, scales it, brings me into contact with the multiple interdependent factors necessary to bring these cards into my life.” I invite you to take a moment and contemplate something in your life that offers a simple pleasure. For Kirsch it was her deck of wisdom cards. Maybe it’s a favorite coffee mug, a bird feeder, a particular song or piece of music you love to listen to, a special recipe, a neighbor you spend time with, a lamp in the corner, a favorite book—a simple pleasure. How did it come into your life? What was the source? And then ask again, what was the source of the source? And then ask again. Follow the path back as far as you can. Notice the connections, the relationships, the dependencies. Notice the precariousness of it all: If I hadn’t gone on my walk that day, I never would have met that person…. If I hadn’t been in that accident, I never would have gotten that gift…. If that total stranger didn’t track me down to return my wallet…. Kirsch says “We’re all connected, related, dependent on one another, but of course we forget this all the time. We forget that every action we take has a whole cascade of unintended consequences. We forget that we’re a factor in someone else’s circuit of gratitude, a link in innumerable chains. And so often we feel separate, lonely, disconnected. One way to challenge that feeling is to start with one small thing you’re grateful for. Then trace the gorgeous, improbable but very real sequence of variables that brought you the object of your gratitude. It may seem a little corny at first, but it works.” [7] Again, I commend this practice to you. I suspect, if you can trace back far enough, you’ll come eventually to the script cut into the hills, the thud of falling apples, the pheasants’ rusty creak, the departing blackbirds’ song, the trees’ gold-leaf illuminated manuscript. I suspect you’ll come in time to that ancient human insight that it is good and right to acknowledge and celebrate the blessings of our lives. If you can trace back far enough, I suspect you’ll come in time to the plainest of utterances: a lullaby or a simple grace at table . And across the gathering stillness, I suspect you’ll come to Rev. Ungar’s prayer: “For all that we have received, dear God, make us truly grateful.” Amen and blessed be.   [1] Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84 (2), 377–389.  https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377   [2]  Read the abstract at https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-01140-012 . [3]  Caron, Christina, “Gratitude Really Is Good for You. Here’s What the Science Shows,” New York Times , June 8, 2023. See: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/08/well/mind/gratitude-health-benefits.html . [4]  Visit Grateful Living at https://grateful.org/brother-david/ . [5]  View Brother Steindl-Rast’s Ted Talk at https://grateful.org/resource/want-to-be-happy-be-grateful/ . [6]  Kirsch, Melissa, “Personal History: The good things in our lives are the result of fantastic webs of interconnected prerequisites,” New York Times, The Morning Newsletter, October 25, 2025. See: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/25/briefing/personal-history.html . [7]  Kirsch, Melissa, “Personal History: The good things in our lives are the result of fantastic webs of interconnected prerequisites,” New York Times, The Morning Newsletter, October 25, 2025. See: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/25/briefing/personal-history.html .

Greetings CYM Families & Friends! Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain! Our CYM program kids had a ton of fun at our annual UUSE Trunk-or-Treat last Saturday evening. It was sweet to see them running around, hiding out, trading candy, greeting members of the public, and overall having a night to remember. Thank you to our dedicated UUSE community members who came to deck out their trunks and make it a special night for them! We appreciate you! This Sunday we’ll continue to ponder our relationship with the holiday, the ancestors, and take a look ahead to the darkest time of the year. (Don’t forget, this weekend marks daylights savings and we set the clocks back an hour!) Here’s what’s happening in CYM this Sunday, November 2, 2025: CHILDREN’S CHAPEL WILL BE HELD AT 10:00 AM THIS SUNDAY Nursery : Childcare will be available in our nursery at 11 AM for children age 3 and under. Sunday Service : “On Gratitude” - The season of Thanksgiving is upon us. We begin reflecting on our November ministry theme of gratitude. We are also joined in worship by Sharon Gunderson, Anhared Stowe, and Ryan Ford who will be playing J.S. Back’s Double Violin Concerto in D Minor. Coordinators: Rev. Josh Pawelek and Mary Bopp Time For All Ages : Children and youth in grades 2-8 will attend the beginning of the Sunday service in the Sanctuary on the Main Level. The first two rows on the right are reserved for children and youth to sit together, and families are welcome to join them. Aft er the “Time For All Ages” segment of Sunday service, children and youth will be dismissed to the Garden Level to attend further programming. Spirit Pl ay : “William’s Doll” - Our students will hear a story about a boy who loves playing with his dolls, and a grandmother who nurtures his inner nurturer. This story ties in nicely with our November ministerial theme: Nurturing Gratitude. Young UUs : “Seeking Knowledge” - Last class our Young UUs discussed their “big questions” that people often look to religion and spirituality to answer. This class we’ll explore the possible answers to those big questions, while learning that UUs young and old spend time as spiritual explorers seeking answers and knowledge. Please dress your child in layers as we will spend class time outdoors. Jr Youth Group : “Stillness in Nature” - Junior Youth will spend class outdoors, taking their regular walk of the grounds while scouting out a Sit Spot. Then they will play a lively game of Eagle Eye, subtly learning about stillness in nature and seeing the world as animals. Please send youth in footwear and clothes appropriate for walking around outside. High School Youth Group does not meet. Affirmation: does not meet. How You Can Help : Friendsgiving Contributions : Look for jars in both kitchen windows to place monetary donations towards a “Friendsgiving” community meal on the Thanksgiving holiday. M ACC (Manchester Area Council of Churches) Food Pantry Donations : UUSE member and MACC chef Ctaci has shared the pantry manager’s urgent list of needs. Please bring any donations to the pantry, or to UUSE, and we will get them delivered. Donations can be dropped off at MACC 460 Main Street Monday-Friday 7:30-3:30 later on Thursday (5pm) (2pm Fridays) or UUSE Garden Level Kitchen (please label purpose.) Monetary donations are always welcomed as well! Items Needed: Instant Potatoes, Chili, Canned, Vegetables, Mayonnaise, Cake or Brownie Mix, Rice and Rice Mixes (rice a roni, knorr), Baked Beans, CORN, Stuffing, Sugar, Flour, Pasta Sauce, Ramen, Chicken Noodle Soup, and Cooking Oil. Young Adult Care Packages : Each year we collect for and put together care packages for our young adults who are moving on with their post-high-sch ool plans. Don’t know what to donate? Ear buds, candy, snacks, cocoa, fidget toys, laundry detergent packs, microwave popcorn and other foods are just a few ideas. Or look for the flyers around the building with the care package symbol, scan the QR code and purchase something from our Amazon wish list ( https://tinyurl.com/2025CarePackages ) by November 2nd. (Donations being collected on site through November 9th.) Write a note of encouragement to any of this year’s recipients: Becky Ayers, Indigo bender, Graham Bornhorst, Logan Breen, Casey Campellone, Lilly-Rose Coleman, Mateo Garcia, Teagan Mabrysmith, Althea Nelson-Woodward, Sadie Nitzan, Max Pawelek, Molly Rourke, Jessica Slogesky and Anya Stolzman. Thank you for your support! See you Sunday! Autumn Happenings : Sat, Nov 8: Mr. Lobster Concert @ 2pm Thurs, Nov 27: Friendsgiving at UUSE (reach out to me to express interest and receive more details) Sun, Dec 14: Holiday Music Service @ 11am Sun, Dec 14: CYM Winter Holiday Party @ 12:30pm With Gratitude, Emmy Galbraith Director of Children & Youth Ministry dcym@uuse.org Office: (860)646-5151 Cell: (860)576-7889 CYM Committee Members: Sudha, co-chair Michelle Spadaccini, co-chair Desiree Holian-Borgnis Paula Baker Kaitlyn Guilmette Committee email: uusecym@uuse.org Angela Attardo, CYM Program Assistant CYMAsst@uuse.org

< To Upcoming Services Nov 2, 2025 On Gratitude Sunday, November 2nd: On Gratitude. The season of Thanksgiving is upon us. We begin reflecting on our November ministry theme of gratitude. We are also joined in worship by Sharon Gunderson Anhared Stowe and Ryan Ford who will be playing J.S. Back’s Double Violin Concerto in D Minor. Coordinators: Rev. Josh Pawelek and Mary Bopp. Sunday, November 2nd: On Gratitude . The season of Thanksgiving is upon us. We begin reflecting on our November ministry theme of gratitude. We are also joined in worship by Sharon Gunderson Anhared Stowe and Ryan Ford who will be playing J.S. Back’s Double Violin Concerto in D Minor. Coordinators: Rev. Josh Pawelek and Mary Bopp. #NovemberNewsletter OOS Sermon YouTube

< To Upcoming Services Watch the eBlast for the next scheduled One-Day Course: Mental Health First Aid Thursday, November 6th, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm Presented by the National Council for Mental Wellness. Sponsored by the UUSE Emergency Response Taskforce UUSE’s Emergency Response Taskforce is offering a one-day course entitled Mental Health First Aid, Thursday November 6, 9am to 5pm. The course is presented by the National Council for Mental Wellness. Register with Annie Gentile in the UUSE office. Certificates will be issued to those successfully completing the course. During these stressful times we all are experiencing heightened anxiety. Psychologists define mental health as being relatively free from anxiety and disabling symptoms that can create difficulty in effectively meeting the ordinary demands and stresses of life. What do we say when someone quietly tells us of their suicidal thoughts? Or how should we respond if someone in a group meeting starts shouting out loudly and angrily as if intoxicated? The Mental Health First Aid course offers pathways for responding when a friend, family member, or fellow UUSE parishioner exhibits signs that their stress has overwhelmed their ability to cope normally. The National Council for Mental Wellness has offered its highly regarded “Mental Health First Aid” course across the nation. This course develops a citizen’s ability to recognize the common signs and symptoms of mental health challenges, including people with suicidal thoughts. Participants learn how to interact with someone in an immediate mental health crisis, as well as how to connect that person with the appropriate follow-up care. All are welcome, though there is a 30-person limit. If you are interested, register with the UUSE office at (860) 646-5151 to ensure your place in the class. Questions? Contact Rev. Josh Pawelek at minister@uuse.org or (860) 652-8961. #OctoberNewsletter Thursday, November 6th, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm Presented by the National Council for Mental Wellness. Sponsored by the UUSE Emergency Response Taskforce UUSE’s Emergency Response Taskforce is offering a one-day course entitled Mental Health First Aid, Thursday November 6, 9am to 5pm. The course is presented by the National Council for Mental Wellness. Register with Annie Gentile in the UUSE office. Certificates will be issued to those successfully completing the course. During these stressful times we all are experiencing heightened anxiety. Psychologists define mental health as being relatively free from anxiety and disabling symptoms that can create difficulty in effectively meeting the ordinary demands and stresses of life. What do we say when someone quietly tells us of their suicidal thoughts? Or how should we respond if someone in a group meeting starts shouting out loudly and angrily as if intoxicated? The Mental Health First Aid course offers pathways for responding when a friend, family member, or fellow UUSE parishioner exhibits signs that their stress has overwhelmed their ability to cope normally. The National Council for Mental Wellness has offered its highly regarded “Mental Health First Aid” course across the nation. This course develops a citizen’s ability to recognize the common signs and symptoms of mental health challenges, including people with suicidal thoughts. Participants learn how to interact with someone in an immediate mental health crisis, as well as how to connect that person with the appropriate follow-up care. All are welcome, though there is a 30-person limit. If you are interested, register with the UUSE office at (860) 646-5151 to ensure your place in the class. Questions? Contact Rev. Josh Pawelek at minister@uuse.org or (860) 652-8961. #OctoberNewsletter OOS Sermon YouTube

< To Upcoming Services Watch the eBlast for the next scheduled Mental Health First Aid Mental Health First Aid Thursday, November 6th, 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. Presented by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing UUSE's Emergency Response Taskforce is offering a one-day course entitled Mental Health First Aid to be presented by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing. This course develops a citizen's ability to recognize the common signs and symptoms of mental health challenges, including people with suicidal thoughts. Participants learn how to interact with someone in an immediate mental health crisis, as well as how to connect that person with the appropriate follow-up care. All are welcome, but there is a 30-person limit. If you are interested, register with Annie in the UUSE office at (860) 646-5151 to ensure your place in the class. Questions? Contact Rev. Josh Pawelek at minister@uuse.org or (860) 652-8961. #eBlast-10-15 Mental Health First Aid Thursday, November 6th, 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. Presented by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing UUSE's Emergency Response Taskforce is offering a one-day course entitled Mental Health First Aid to be presented by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing. This course develops a citizen's ability to recognize the common signs and symptoms of mental health challenges, including people with suicidal thoughts. Participants learn how to interact with someone in an immediate mental health crisis, as well as how to connect that person with the appropriate follow-up care. All are welcome, but there is a 30-person limit. If you are interested, register with Annie in the UUSE office at (860) 646-5151 to ensure your place in the class. Questions? Contact Rev. Josh Pawelek at minister@uuse.org or (860) 652-8961. #eBlast -10-15 OOS Sermon YouTube